BAHTOH Hair Studio

Shout out to my fabulous friend Bobbie Yanoupeth's site!  He's your go-to guy for fashion styling, hair dressing, set design and more...

He has this new section call the "Chronicles of Heartbreak" - you must collaborate with me my dear!  I am all about this!  Love it.

Bahtoh Hair Studio - Click here

6 Months and Counting...

So its been officially 6 months since I've moved to NYC.  It sure doesn't feel like its been that long.  I don't think I've been utilizing the city to its full potential yet...I work too much...I work on thinking about how I can work some more...and whenever I get a chance I run out of the city for a weekend break.  I'm over the going out every night phase...and I'm more focusing on me and work...I know that its hard to believe when this city never sleeps..and it seems like a lot of people always get caught up...but I need to do something more than what I've been doing...and it doesnt come from hitting the bar every night.  My friends back home always ask..."When are you moving back home?"  I say...I don't know...I think that the 1st year is always going to be hard no matter where you move...and the 2nd year I'll decide if I like the town or not...and move on or stay.

I have to say...I'm definitely a West Coast kind of girl...but I love the history, the independence, and the character that the East Coast has...I've been seriously devising a plan on how I can be bi-coastal....hopefully a year from now when I blog...I'll be talking about those adventures. If you have any ideas....please! Let me know...

My Social Network...

HI ALL! I just wanted to give a warm "HELLO" to everyone that somehow stumble on my blog... I've been getting emails/twitter followers/facebook requests, and I just want to say THANKS!!

It inspires me to write more...because I know what I'm speaking is the truth!!  You either hate me...or you love me.  Either way you're here.  And I thank you.  There is no grey area with me...its either ONE WAY - or the OTHER.  Thats just the Libra in me.  And I take everything in and appreciate it...everyday is an opportunity, everyone I meet has a different story...and I love to hear them.  So if you are here...don't hesitate to shoot me a message and say 'Hi...'


xxxo - nai

Intuition

Why do women who have an intuition that their significant other is cheating on them stay with their man? Doesn't it just make things worse?  You have caught him in a compromising situation, and of course he sweet talks his way out of it...you forgive him. He wins.  You still don't have peace of mind...so you dig for clues to see if he's hiding something from you...  You then analyze anything that you see, overhear, and think that its something else.  You try to hold it in until you cant anymore, and you confront him.  He probably acts mad - and puts it on you like, why don't you trust me, acting like he's guilty, and one thing leads to another, and suddenly he puts it in your head that everything is your fault.  There is no trust - but that was probably lost along time ago.  So you have two choices...you deal with it. Or you leave.  In most situations - the girl always stays.  

Why stay in a relationship when you always have in the back of your mind that something is not right?  Is it to win? Is it because you hope that you'll be the one to change him?  Is it to confirm that what you have is real and you're 'different' than all the other girls in the past (or present)?  Or is it to validate all the time invested in the relationship?  Most people learn the hard way...its always easier to tell someone to leave, than to actually do it.  But maybe if girls were less emotional and they took their feelings out of it - and looked at the facts of what it really is then we could make smarter decisions.  

Women have always been known to be more emotional, more needy, when actually so are most guys.  Women are just more vocal about it.  Guys that cheat, or do things to hurt their girlfriend, its probably because they are just as emotional and even more needy.  Guys love having all the attention and feel like being the man.  A guy might be in love, but they dont want to admit it because it makes them feel like they aren't in control...and if they feel like they arent in control then they have to fix that.  Fixing might be in the form of doing things to prove to himself that he's the man like; acting like a dick, flirting, going out all the time, or in the worst case cheating.  In either case, they get the attention that they need, and they push your buttons so much just to see how much you'll deal with, and if the girl deals with it...its a confirmation to him that she really cares.  What doesn't work with that train of thought is, that you just keep doing what you're doing because you know you can get away with it.  So when does it end?  Why would you want to be with someone so weak minded that they think they can't leave?  When does the guilt sit in?  And when do you finally just stop, and deal with it like an adult and accept things how they are...?

Nails Done...Hair Done...EVERYTHING did...

This has to be the song of the summer...
Ladies, I see you!!  Gettin ready to go out to the club, friday night...just got paid, new fit, nails did, and you probably ready...and listenin to this song while you pre-funkin to go out...but best believe you better have your shit together...if not, sit back down please...

"...Well aren’t you a breath of fresh air

From all these superficial gold digging bitches in here

They get a baller think that they aint got to pick a career

Guess they plan on sucking somes d-cks until some millions appear..." - T.I.

Single Ladies Extraordinaire

Single Ladies Extraordinaire...what is this you may ask?  The woman that has a career...her own place...her own car...looks better than the average female...and can have any guy she wants.  She has the option to pick and choose who she wants... She's looking for Mr. Right...and until then she has Mr. Right Now's.  And going back to my previous post....is dealing with Mr. Right now a waste of time?  Well it depends how you look at things.  


Don't do anything unless its beneficial...if you are just with Mr. Right Now because you are bored and can't be alone...then yes, its not a good thing. If you are with this dude because of a mutually beneficial circumstance...then go head.  We're grown, we make our own decisions...and we definitely have needs.  

Date Night

When was the last time you have gone on a date?  Like a real date. Not just hang out with someone...like a guy actually picked you up, walked to your door, open your door to get in his car....and went to dinner, or a movie, or talked all night until the sun rise and you lose track of time?  Girls these days settle for hanging out with a guy, and his friends, going out to the bar/club...and then eventually sleeping with him.  You never really get to know him...you hangout with his friends, usually with your friends...if you are alone with him then its at his or your place and you know what that leads to...You try to convince yourself that you just do this until you meet the right guy...till that guy sweeps you off your feet.  So then why sell yourself short all for a couple drinks and a quick lay?

As my friend and I were walking around Central Park last week...we thought about this as we watched couples dancing in the park, laying around, holding hands...then we find ourselves in a daze drink in hand by the pond as the sunset.  Corney? Yes...we know.  But its nice to dream about it....for one day... Until that one day...don't settle for something less than you deserve...or settle for something just because it may be the right thing to do... The universe has a funny way of having everything fall into place right when you least expect it. When it comes...appreciate it.

Philly

I met up with my parents in Pennsylvania where they were ending their 2 week east coast trip...I have some family here and my mom keeps pushing me to visit them more often.  Well with my cousin from London in town that same weekend and my other cousin taking the weekend off to hang out with his brother and family I decided to take a Greyhound to Philly. I've never been there before.  When I arrive in Philly its muggy, sprinkling and I was literally around a bunch of bums.  After walking the streets looking like a damn hooker...I found my cousins and we immediately go to the other side of town and have a nice meal...and then it begins....drink after drink...after drink...then we end up in a gay bar with the stiffest cheapest drinks I've had in a long time.  One thing leads to another and thats it...I'm WASTED like wasted to a point where I find myself with my cousins at Pats Cheese-steak throwing up outside at PRIME TIME - 3:00am with a line full of drunk people...I manage to still sit down and kind of eat my cheese-steak like a trooper.  However...I'm pretty done by this point and pass out on the way home to my cousins...OR so i think.  To make a long story short...we wake up in a parking lot at Walmart at dawn...go back to my cousins and pass out for a couple hours until our moms blow our phones up wondering if we are going to make it to brunch in an hour. (what do you think happened?) yes....we were late...we also got lost in Amish country...and I open my Marc Jacobs to find a halfway eaten Pat's...which probably still drunk I attempted to eat...Only in Philly...

Do I Ever Get Lonely?

Someone mentioned to me that I must be lonely, living in a new city, not knowing a lot of people...and even the strongest person gets cold at night.  I'm actually pretty use to sleeping alone and night and taking up the whole bed so thats not a problem, it makes me pretty uncomfortable to have someone in bed with me.  And the last time I shared a bed with someone he said that I'm taking waaaaaaaaay too much space all in the middle and sh*t...

So to answer your question do I get lonely?  Of course I do, I'm human.  Am I sad about it?  No.  Do I constantly try to find someone to keep me company?  No.  I'm at a place where I dont mind it just being me.  Coming home and cooking dinner for 'one'.  I dont have to worry about anyone except for me.  I've found some friends here in New York that I can chill with time to time...but I know that they will never replace my lifelong friends back home.  Everyone here is chasin' something...and I swear would drop you in a heartbeat if what they were after came around.  And thats coo.  I get it...I am too.  I moved here for a reason right?

Its been a year since I've been single and I think being single has different phases.  

1. Sad - where you don't know if what you did is the right thing....you are confused...you cant eat or you over eat....and you just kinda are spaced out....
2. Wildin' Out - this is when you get off your ass....and party like there is no tomorrow...rock star lifestyle....
3. Focus - when the party starts to feel all the same....and you realize its time to get it together and focus on yourself...and be where you wanna be...

Where am I?  Isn't it obvious...It would be nice to have a better half....but in time that will come.  I don't look for it. I don't expect it....Everything happens for a reason...and like I always say..."I'm known to walk alone...but I'm alone for a reason..."

Give Me More!

I've always had it easy when it came to the 'love' department.  Its just keeping me in 'love' is the tricky part.  I get pretty bored easily. So with that said...there is this boy and he doesn't give me everything that I want...I cant be with him...we don't share the same interests...he's low key...simple...he's the stay at home type of guy...at a party he's in the corner observing...and me I'm the complete opposite.  I love to be out the house...life of the party...jet setter...everyday is an adventure for me.  It should be so easy to say 'NEXT!' but its not?  And why?  Is it because he doesn't give me everything that I want?  Is it because he makes it hard on me?  Its it because the sex is AMAZING?  WHAT?!  He says to me all the time that he has to pull back because he doesnt want to be like all the other guys that gave me what I want...because look at them now.  WHERE ARE THEY?  Dammit...he's right with that one.  BUT STILL.  I want a guy that wants me all the time.  I want a guy that wants to give me the world and see it with me...and even though he shows his love its not a sign of weakness.  Its a sign of strength. I want a guy thats going to stand his ground...and have his own life...I want my man to know what he wants and know where he's going.  I know its not about the destination...its about the journey there...but the journey is always more pleasant when there is someone to ride with...

Ladies: Take Notes

I believe that if you aren't takin' care of your man...there is someone else that will. It goes both ways. So you better work with what you got...and if not...step your game up and practice!! Don't get comfortable...and stick to the norm...because if a dude is bored...he will find someone that will keep his interest up.  

Namsayin on Chelsea Lately Tonight 5.13.10!!

My boy from Seattle Walter Franco is going to be on E! tonight on the Chelsea Lately Show with Jo Koy.  Its going to be pretty hilarious check it out 11pm tonight! Namsayin....

More info check out www.namsayin.com

Fashion and Money

I personally do not like to admit defeat. But I will definitely admit when things are getting to be a little rough.  By no means did I expect moving to New York to be easy, and I'm not a person to really worry about things, because I always find my way...but I will admit that things are definitely hard and I miss home. I miss having things handed my way...and I miss being comfortable.  I know I cant stay comfortable, because with comfort comes laziness.  I expect a lot in life...and I expect myself to figure it out and get it.  I generally do have a way of always making things happen...

I came out to New York thinking I wanted to get back into designing - I'm here now thinking I want to broaden my fashion horizons to something other than designing.  So how do I survive and still go for my dreams? Now, isn't that what most people are trying to figure out?  I could always get a BS corporate job - no worries, insurance, vacation time, no stress, just do my work and thats it...but where is the reward in that?  Yes fashion is inconsistent, stressful, demanding, it loves you one second and throws you out as soon as the next 'it' thing comes around...but when your designs or who you are working for is hot, its so rewarding.

For now, I'm going to stick with designing, because that is what I know.  If the opportunity of expanding my career in a different fashion specturm appears, I'll go for it.  I was talking to a friend who said why not get into 'mass-market'? *GASP*  Ok - lets first clarify for those that don't know my background, I specialize in womens, high-end dresses, evening wear, RTW and bridal.  Now thats where I started my career and thats what I love.  When you get into this business wherever you start has to be what you really love to do because its very hard to get into something else.  Example; mass market to high-end - high-end to mass market.  Mass market is everything us normal people wear, its what we can afford.  Its where the money is.  To think about going into mass market scares me.  Mass market has waaay to many lines, the stress of working overseas and keeping costs as low as possible to me seems impossible.  How are you to create if you can only spend a few dollars on each peice?  Thats not art, thats business.  Now in my market, there is no price point, you don't have to think about if you can afford this fabric because its $150/yard and I need 15 yards for the collection.  I get to see the clothes being made here, by hand, in America from concept to creation.  I don't have to communicate with a middle-man who deals with a factory overseas and pray when the shipment comes in, its what I originally ordered.  I mean, yes of course you are working for money, but I want the reward and the money.  I am not a person who is willing to comprimise what I love for money...I want both...that can't be to hard to ask for.  So imma figure it out...

Letting go is definitely hard especially if things aren't ending on a bad note.  Last time I wrote I talked about 'Whats the point?' And since then I've been lying to myself thinking that there is a point and that I can make this relationship work...that I can just keep going just the way things are...and leave it at that.  I can't though...I want more than it is...and more than what it can be.  There is no way around it.  

I wish things were different.  But then i think why?  Why this dude?  Just because I can't have what I want?  Because I like being difficult?!  NAOMI!! You need to stop!  And just accept good things as they come...and forget about the bad as those come.  Don't embrace it...move on....!

Whats the Point?

Whats the point of continually talking to someone when you know it could never be?  And when you say never? I mean...you could but its honestly really complicated?  Like complicated in a way that it would affect other people... you cant help who you like right?  But you can make the choice to continue the relationship or stop it before it gets worse.  You know the situation is a catch 22... bad in every way you look at it.  Totally illegal...then why is it so hard to just stop doing it?  Is it because I like doing the opposite of what should be done?  Or I like to beat the odds?  I'm not sure.  I don't want to be THAT GIRL...I know whats going on...but I get getting pulled back.  We were talking about it today that I would be the smart thing if we stopped doing what we were doing now before anyone gets hurt.  But ending things when they are good is so hard.

So...I'm going to try hard to keep myself busy...and slowly forget about you.  Because its driving me crazy...that I want something I cant have...and for someone who is use to getting whatever they want...this has got to stop.  It would be so much easier if you weren't so sweet...ugh...

Whatever is Right Before Love...That's What it is...

On a lighter note...it has come to my attention that my blog has a tendency to be a little emo...a little man-hater-ish...a little angry.  I'm not angry.  I'm pretty happy actually.  I write these things because its a common trend...not just happening to my girls...its also what my boys do to their girls...I am content with my personal relationship.  I sit and think how can it go wrong?  It can always go wrong...but its so easy...but so complicated. I know that eventually this won't last...and this feeling will go away...and that eventually someones going to get hurt.  But right now...it feels good.  It feels safe...it keeps me on my feet....grounded.  I appreciate what I have now...and I tell him that I appreciate him.  Because I do... I don't ask for much...I just ask for a little bit of his time...and for him to keep it real...and it seems to work both ways... He said to me the other day...whatever is right before love...thats how I feel about you...haha...to some thats not romantic...but I'm not a romantic type of girl and he's not a very romantic type of guy either...but for some reason...I can feel the giddiness beaming out in disgust...and I start to see us both fall out of character.  *SHRUG* Eh, what can you do...??  I'll roll with it for now...because like I said...this can't last forever...

Satisfaction

Why can't guys be satisfied with what they already have? Why do they always want more.  They want their cake and eat it too...they want their girl at home. And then they want their side piece. They want to be able to do whatever they want...and not get shit for it.  Well...I think that the perfect song to this is...'If I were a Boy' by Beyonce.

You know you wouldn't like it if I had a side hustle...you wouldn't like it if I didn't come home at night....you wouldn't like it if I didn't answer all your phone calls.  So instead of getting a smart, real girl like me....you get the girl that is dumb and naive.  That girl who believes it when you say you love her, who believes it when you say you were at your boys house just hanging out, when really you were, but with 5 other girls...and when she figures out how much of a jerk you were this whole time...you turn her into an angry girl.  That girl was once a good girl...a believer...someone who had faith in you.  Someone that put their all in the relationship but their all wasn't enough...but you don't think about that...because you think about nothing except yourself and how YOU feel...  Yeah you might feel a little guilty...but that guilt isn't enough for you to change...that guilt isn't enough for you to give in to what you really feel...and to actually try.  So during this process you may lose ONE or TWO good girls in the end...but I guess in your head...there's a million ways to get em... so on to the next rotation...

Well honey, two can play at that game.  And I've said this before...just because I don't say anything...its not because I don't know and its not because I'm stupid.  Its because I'm observing, I'm collecting a whole picture...I'm seeing if this is worth it...I know how to get em...you may laugh...but if I wanted to I can get you to fall in love with me...and that can happen even if I reallllllly don't want you to...I'm just seeing if you are actually worth my time...So go ahead and think you are the shit...maybe some girls are actually smarter than you think...they just don't need to show their ass all the time like you boys.

Fabulous and Broke

Fabulous and broke...thats the story of most fashionistas... a closet of endless clothes, handbags, shoes and accessories...but nothing else in life to show for it.  Well working as a vendor/contractor on the other side of the fashion industry, I'm seeing how broke the fabulous life is.  This has to be the worse industry to get into right now.  Designers have no money to pay their bills....consumers have no money to pay for the designers designs.... and everyone is stuck in a hole... so how do you survive?  

The age of want is dying...and now its about the age of need.  And how do you differentiate what you need and what?  When everything glitz and glam is so inciting... Have you sat in your room and all you have are clothes and nothing else? I have...and I sit and think...was it all worth it?  YES and no...yes I remember the memories that I have in each of my outfits...and my clothes tell a story.  I know that what I have does not define me...but I am one that likes to present a whole package...and my clothes are apart of my story.  No it wasn't worth it because now I think of all the money spent on stuff I dont wear any more.  Impulsive spending.  I guess you just gotta hustle harder to live up to the lifestyle that you want to live...

Show Some Love

Show some love to my girl Osiris....check out her blog www.osiristhegreat.com

Getting Less Than Whats Deserved...

Why do successful women seem to have a tendency to go for guys who are not on their level?  Is it the whole power thing?  And then when they get someone who isn't on their level then they are like...well this dude doesn't do this...and he don't have a job...and he's so f''in lazy....this and that...

I mean, I guess its the same for guys who get with girls who are more weak minded...because then they have the upper-hand...but I mean doesn't it come to a point where its like...you want someone on your level?  I'm starting to figure out that I need a dude thats going to challenge me...thats not going to let me get away with everything...someone who isn't afraid to say NO when I'm just pushing buttons...I need someone who's driven like I am...someone thats going to be understanding if I'm going out with my boys...or someone thats going to understand that you know...sometimes...I just don't want to talk to you today....and someone that understands that if I'm a little bitchy right now...not to take it personal...

As much as it seems like all I do is play hard...you better believe I work 10x harder.  I see things...and I do things that most people won't believe...and even when I think about stuff that I've done in my life...if I was to tell these things to a random...they definitely would think I'm crazy and full of ish...because half the time even my friends think I just bullshit...because my life can be unbelievable.  I'm pretty crazy...but I do think 3x if not 4 about things before I do them...but I usually take the chance...because honestly...whats the worse that could happen?  I rather go out knowing that I tried and failed....then sit and think...I should of gone for it...might as well...